Neil Diamond's "I Am...I Said"

Can I Relate To This Song? is a feature I hope to continue weekly, in which I examine the lyrics to a popular song from the past or present, and see if I can relate to it. For the inaugural edition, I present Neil Diamond's "I Am...I Said":

L.A.'s fine, the sun shines most the time (All of the time, Neil. It's called a 'drought.')

And the feeling is 'lay back'

Palm trees grow, and rents are low (Would you call $770/mo + utilities 'low' for 134 sq feet of space?)

But you know I keep thinkin' about

Making my way back (hey, me too. That's going to be on my mind until I go back...and then I'm sure I will second guess my decision to move back for the rest of eternity.)

Well I'm New York City born and raised (If, by NYC, you mean Poughkeepsie NY, then yes, this pertains to me too)

But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores

L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home (true)

New York's home, but it ain't mine no more (um, is NY anyone's? I think it's mine as much as it is anyone elses')

"I am," I said (hey, I am, as well. Most people 'are,' in an existential way)

To no one there (I talk to myself all the time)

An no one heard at all

Not even the chair (Neil, chairs can't hear. They are inatimate. Except for Chairry, that is)

"I am," I cried

"I am," said I

And I am lost, and I can't even say why (I know exactly where I am, literally. Figuratively...well, who knows)

Leavin' me lonely still

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king

And then became one (Yes, I have)

Well except for the names and a few other changes

If you talk about me, the story's the same one (really? are you a wizard? Where did you learn transfiguration, Neil?)

But I got an emptiness deep inside

And I've tried, but it won't let me go

And I'm not a man who likes to swear (Meanwhile, I fucking LOVE swearing...and then he doesn't even swear!)

But I never cared for the sound of being alone (Note to self: Neil Diamond is the polar opposite of JD Salinger)

"I am," I said

To no one there

An no one heard at all

Not even the chair

"I am," I cried

"I am," said I

And I am lost, and I can't even say why

Leavin' me lonely still (Maybe you're lonely because you keep whining about it...just a thought)

(copyright 1971 Prophet Music, Inc.)

On a scale of 1-10, I would rate this a solid 9. If it weren't for Neil's apparent ability to turn from a frog into a human, I would have awarded it a perfect score. So close.